Life in India

March 2011

It was an honour to be invited to my 1st Indian wedding; boy these guys can get a groove on.........it was fantastic.

It was my neighbours wedding and a muslim affair; I had no idea what to expect and it surpassed all my expectations (although the food was the only negative, more about that later).

My landlady phabi and her daughter-in-law Ayesha are such sweethearts and gave me a traditional salwar kameez to wear, the colours were gorgeous: bright fuscia pink and electric blue with a gorgeous scarf ..............I almost looked local from the back :-) I was told to straighten my hear and wear lots of bangles and lipstick..............so with those instructions, that's what I did.

The build up to the wedding was a tiring affair, I live below the family and they were nocturnal for around a month - when I went to bed, they started entertaining: I was knackered and I wasn't even involved, god only knows what the bridal party must have felt like, saying that they all looked awesome on the night I attended.

Now, Indian weddings take place over a couple or few days; although I'm not really sure. i was invited to two evenings - I'm not sure when the wedding ceremony takes place or any other burning questions. I know it's ignorant, I did ask lot's of questions but obviously too much to remember as I can't remember all that was told to me about the comings and goings of a south indian muslim wedding.

So the night of the wedding, was a huge big build up of sparkly lights on the facade of our building, musicians playing outside the house with a small van and a loudspeaker (i could have sworn they were outside my door 'cos they were LOUD), people were gathering on the street to get a glimpse of the wedding party...........there was most definitely a vibe going on. I was getting really exited and it wasn't even my day but the tempo of the music was really getting the heart skipping fast beats.

I just happened to come out my door at the same time the groom and his parents were coming downstairs.............they were so beautiful and very very sweet to me. I did'nt really know how to greet the groom, as in the west we shake hands and give words of good wishes. Erm, not sure how to greet this groom with the elaborate white turban on his head, lots of flowers around his neck and looking like a mughal from days gone by..............anyhow, i shook his hand and I'm sure I said something that was pretty feeble but the music was so loud he wouldn't have heard me anyway.................phew............1st impressions count :-)

So, I'm waiting for my landlady and family to finish get ready and I happen to be on the stairs watching the 'groove' going on down on the ground floor. The wedding party were trying to persuade me to join them, OMG...............i was overwhelmed with shyness and couldn't bring myself to go downstairs and get down with the crowd - it was beautiful to watch from the back, i was in my comfort zone by just watching. The music was energetic, the mood was high and 'boy' this crowd could groove...................AWESOME!

Finally we arrived at the wedding reception, which was in an area where it seemed that every young couple in love in HYD were getting married - so many wedding receptions were taking place, in fact it was difficult to know which one to attend ;-). This is the bit when the women and men separate and have their own little 'get together', ok this was a 1st for me - normally in weddings I go to in the west by the time the reception is held there is someone hitting on the bridesmaids and the best man is chasing some female guest.............this was a totally new refreshing experience.
The women in this venue were BEAUTIFUL, I have never seen so much colourful clothes, gold and bangles in one place before - what a feast for my eyes - now this was entertainment :-) All the teenage girls were dressed up in the most stunning outfits with a little bit of seductive eye make up and the women looked so demure and very, very beautiful.

wedding 7

040

Now the bride was absolutely gorgeous..............i could not take my eyes off her for a while as she must have taken so long to get prepared for the day and her clothes, make up and jewelery were dazzling - what an honour to be at the wedding.

045

So, photo's over and all the women had greeted each other, checked out what everyone was wearing and made themselves noticed - it was then food time................as I had said the women looked 'demure', even graceful................well as soon as dinner was called, it was like a stampede to the tables, all that etiquette went out the door they came through - this was serious, this was food! To be honest, that's when I should have said my thankyou's and left as I'm vegetarian and the only veg dish on offer was a salad that I was fighting with the flies for - the flies won!! ...............and I got a sore belly.
In conclusion, I had a fantastic time - it was an honour and an experience that I'll never forget - it's a shame I couldn't make the next night but I was tucked up in bed suffering from overeating cucumbers that the flies had liked too.................ahhhhhhhhhhhh

Whilst I've been living here, I've been doing some work with an organization that have kindly been funded by an ex HYD colleague of mine to feed some kids from slum areas and I feel truly blessed to be part of it - it makes everything that I feel are stressful in my life seem trivial.
It's a wonderful organization, who run summer camps for the kids; get communities together through their belief in Christianity...........now I'm not a church going woman but I respect what they believe in and what good they are doing.
The kids are beautiful, so well behaved and very polite.......much more polite than kids I've seen of the same age that have everything they want in their tender years.

018

024

039

035

So an amazing woman and a few members of her family wake up in the small hours of the morning to prepare 100 eggs, dhal, rice and veg for these kids - apparently it's the only cooked meal they get in the week (and an egg is a treat for them too). All this food is cooked in her small house, their belief in doing good for the kids humbles me .............as I would probably have complained that i did not have the correct facilities, etc - I have learned so much for their goodness.

007

010

001

Once all the food has been bagged up and brought to the small modest church, the kids queue and wait patiently for their turn to receive their food parcel - 'thanks auntie', they say to me as if it's me who's cooked the meals or contributed the funding! I ain't done a thing but I'm the one who gets the thanks - that's sooooo wrong and i feel very uncomfortable about this - i extend their thanks to all the people who have actually done the work.

I have been asked to be involved as an 'ambassador' on behalf of the friend who have amazingly given a years supply of food to the organization but is living in Delhi - I am honoured to be involved and love being part of it. So big thanks to 'Peter', 'Pastor Rufus' and his wife 'Shirley' and all the other people mentioned in this wee blog

014

043

Well, been here just over the 3 month period and decided to start up a journal as the experience of living here in India is just too amazing not to record.
So, how to begin:
The highs & The Lows
The Highs have been so many, I wake up every day with the sun shining in my room; there is a feast for my eyes every day as I travel to and from work; the weekends are wonderful; my landlady's cooking; the opportunity to live here and explore my life journey...............in fact there are so many to list.
The Lows are; the condition of the street dogs - i have shed many tears; the auto rickshaw drivers that think I'm an ATM!!!; the HUGE mother of rats; the beggars; the pollution............not too many really.
The city of Hyderabad:
I really love this city, I've fallen in love with it. To begin with what has struck me was/is the beauty of the natural surroundings of the boulders and the sagars (lakes); they are AWESOME. Ok the boulders are not as magical as in Hampi but they are still stunning; it's such a shame that contractors/builders are hacking them up to build on the land - these boulders are ancient - pre-historic..........There are lots of lakes scattered around the city, very pretty to look at: full of sewage and rubbish unfortunately.
I haven't really explored that much yet except for a few places around the city and the usual Jubilee/Banjara Hills area, however what I've seen so far - i truly, truly love.
Golkonda Fort was another awesome place of interest, I need to go back though as I went with my students and had to cut the trip short due to a student of mine feeling ill: plan to go when Dunc visits.
Hussain sagar, which divides the two cities of Hyderabad & it's twin: Secunderabad is beautiful, I thought the buddah in the sagar might have bigger though. My expectations were higher for the buddah, it's still a gorgeous spectacle daytime and at night. Apparently the sagar gets really smelly in the summer...........
Salar Jung Museum was a bit disappointing really and it's on the list of 'things to do' in Hyderabad. Coming from an angle of comparisons with other major art galleries/museums in Europe - the way the art was displayed was a 'sin', they were just balancing on a nail on the wall in a space with very low ceilings. They had a copy of the Mona Lisa there and it was not displayed to it's maximum potential, that's for sure. I even saw a beautiful old mirror being 'painted' with gold paint at the time of the visit!!! my special soul sis Jane is guilder - she would have been having kittens if she saw that!!
Charminar was soooooooooooooooo exciting! I need to go back there! I was in a car and was just driven around and viewed the surroundings through the window: planning to visit with Dunc and probably many more times.
The slums:
For some reason the drive through the slums on my 1st day to work fascinated me and to this day, it is my favorite drive. It's amazing to watch, it's a network of shacks/tent constructions/concrete rooms that are homes for families. Goats are tied up to trees outside the homes, dogs are rummaging for food in the skips, kids are doing their morning 'poos' in the street, men are fixing their auto rickshaws, women are pleating their daughters hair, teenagers are brushing their teeth and combing their hair outside, the hairdresser is waiting for his next customer, just so much going on and for that 5 mins it takes to drive through this particular slum area I am drinking in the sights with my eyes - I don't really want to talk with my passengers that I'm travelling with, I just want to look out and see what's happening in the slum area.
The Shopping Experience
So many yummy shops in Hyderabad, loving 'Fab India' & 'InHabit', there are some really nice kashmir handicraft shops - bit pricey though, the malls are very same/same...........GVK/In Orbit/City Centre - very exciting for the 1st timer but they all get a bit dull after a while. i treat them as useful places to get ur food shopping and any other 'quickies/essentials'. Once I get my scootie, I'll be able to explore until my hearts content as I've seen a few 'one off' shops but haven't stopped at them yet.
The Living Experience
Alright, now where I live is actually 5 mins from work - so in that respect it's perfect but there are 'buts'............
Tolichowki is the name of the area and it's a bit of a dump and very, very busy/crazy. It is a predominantly muslim/local area, which I really don't mind at all, except when I go out on the streets to walk to work or just walk to the shop - it's very unusual for locals to see a western woman walking around - maybe I should cover up? Don't get me wrong I love my room and the building it is in; if only it could be moved to a different area. I love my living arrangements and of course the cost of my room - cheap as chips, my landlords family are the sweetest people. They cook gorgeous healthy south indian food for me, they wash my clothes, they care generally for me as one of their family - I feel very attached to them now and respect their religion/culture and of course their peace. I just wish it was in another area, I've been checking out other areas around town and I really like 'film nagar' area; there are lots of greenery, things to do and also it's very near work but feels very, very different from Tolichowki. I might make some investigations over the monsoon period (as I move out of here in Mid November).
Work
I am so blessed to work in this job, I love it. I am so proud of my students, my heart swells when I think of the work they have done in the last term since I've joined the campus. They have came on 'leaps and bounds' with their work; I am constantly nagging them to 'do this and do that' and they are such good girls - they never give me any cheek, they take every negative vibe I give them as a positive jibe. The preparation is tough, I work very hard to prepare class work for them - it's paying off though. They will be fantastic Interior Designers by the time they complete their 3 year degree. (I hope I'm still here to see their graduation as my contract is 2 years). I'm still on my probation period, another 3 months of probation and then I'll know if I;m being kept on as a full time employee...........fingers crossed.
Traffic
The traffic in Hyderabad is MENTAL! Apparently it's worse in Mumbai, now I've been to Mumbai and I don't remember it as crazy as it is in Hyderabad. There are no rules it seems, traffic comes from all directions and they drive bumper to bumper honking their horn constantly. I am so surprised that there are not more accidents on the roads that what I've seen since coming here. If there is a wee space or gap; u can bet that someone with their bike/car/auto/bus or truck are trying to edge into it! The pollution is harsh here too, at 1st I kept a scarf over my face as the air is heavy with fumes, now I don't which is worrying as I don't seem to notice it now.........should really cover up again?

Ok, so this is the end of this wee blog...........this was a bit of a 'catch-up' blog, now for some gripping thoughts in the next blogs............ciao for now